No longer BB

Elim and her doll, Hong Kong, August 2018

時間過得真快。
Time flies.


(Olympus OM-1, Astrum Foto 400)

No Longer Human

太宰治《人間失格》––

這一夜,我們來到鐮倉海濱。她說腰帶是向店裡的朋友借的,所以將腰帶解下,交疊放在石頭上,而我也脫下斗篷,放在同一處,兩人一同跳進水裡。 
她死了,只有我獲救。 
... 
對我而言,這世上唯一可以依賴的就是那個堀木了嗎? 
想到這點,我感受到一股心寒的悲慘。

... 
堀木愈來愈得意似的地說:「只有善於處世的本領,總有一天會露出破綻!」 
善於處世的本領……我真的只有苦笑以對。我?善於處世的本領?像我這樣害怕著人們,逃避掩飾,不都是奉行著俗諺「多一事不如少一事」那狡猾伶俐的處世格言形態相同嘛! 
唉!人類真是一點也不相互了解,完全錯看對方,還以為那是獨一無二的摯友,一輩子都沒察覺到這一點直到對方過世,還淚流滿面地弔唁著呢! 
... 
日日重複同樣的事,
遵循著與昨日相同的慣例,
若能避開猛烈的狂喜,
自然也不會有悲痛的來襲,
面對阻礙著前途的絆腳石,
蟾蜍,會繞路而行。   
當我看到上田敏翻譯查爾.柯婁(Guy-Chatles Cros,法國詩人。以纖細感觸擁抱現實苦惱,藉著協調有序的詩歌頌讚純粹的生活之美。)這首詩句時,我的臉紅得要燒了起來。  
蟾蜍! 
(那就是我。世人不會對我有什麼諒解不諒解,也不會有什麼遺棄不遺棄。我,是個連貓狗都比不上的劣等生物。蟾蜍!只是慢吞吞地活動著。)

最近看的大部份書都是出自日本作家。

這本書講了一段很悲哀的故事,也是作者自己的故事。我沒有大庭葉般的荒唐、無賴的生活,但這本書看得很辛苦,某種意義上很有共鳴。有時會看得眉頭皺起,有時很想把書合上,然後逃避。幸好這本書很薄,只是讀了兩、三天。幾年後再看應該會幾有意思。

Most of the book I have read recently are written by Japanese authors.

This book tells a sad story which is also the story of Osamu Dazai himself. I totally don't have a ridiculous and troubled life like Ōba Yōzō but, at certain sense, I totally feel it.

A new life and a new life

Martha before the sunset was set, Hong Kong, September 2018

給Martha和我新的小小朋友。
A gift for Martha and my new tiny friend.

(1-11: Mamiya C330F, Kodak Portra 160;
12-14: Mamiya C330F, Kodak Portra 400)

Still thundering

On the way to Ki Lan Shan (麒麟山), Sheung Shui, Hong Kong, August 2018

看過天氣預報,當天應該是沒有雷暴的,不過即使是行山時,我們一直都留意住天文台的消息。怎料途中還是開始打起雷來,沒多久天文台還懸掛了雷暴警告。於是我們取消行程,沿途折返去吃下午茶。

小心點好,不久前有男生在大金鐘行山時被雷擊中,不幸過身。碰巧我上年去大金鍾行山時都是與這幾個人一起的。

We had checked the weather forecast. It was supposed to have no thunderstorm on that day. But even during our hike, we had kept checking the news from the Observatory. Out of the blue, it started to thunder en route. A moment later, thunderstorm warning was hoisted. We thus canceled our hike, taking the same route back to have tea time.

It is always better to more careful. Not long ago, a man was struck by a thunder and killed when hiking at Tai Kam Chung. Coincidentally, last year I hiked to Tai Kam Chung with the same group of people.
深圳。/ Shenzhen. 之後菲林又不夠。/ Then ran out of film.

其實自己一直都未能完全地擺脫從三支香那一次的經歷。到現在,當有強光突然照過,整個人都會非常緊張。感覺有點糟。當時都不會想到兩年後的我竟會因為行一座平凡不過的山而留下陰影。
Actually I have still not completely recovered from the experience of my hike to Sam Chi Heung. Until now, if there is suddenly a strong light flashed, I will be extremely tensed. Feel quite horrible. Me from 2 years ago would not believe that I would be left with a shadow by hiking to an unremarkable mountain.

(Nikon F2, expired Fujifilm 業務用 400)

Who still remember

Lunch and dinner, Hong Kong, 2018

只得我一個仍記得的回憶。鎖碎,但是是構成我為我的重要一部分。漸漸有一日連我都會忘記,到時即使看到照片,都不會記得起。最後是這樣就好了。
There are memories that are remembered by me only.

祝我一齊安好。

(Olympus Pen F, Bergger Pancro 400)

龍の契り

服部真澄1995年在日本出版了《龍的契約》,1996年由朱佩蘭翻譯在台灣出版。這是以1997年香港由英國手上回歸中國作為背景的虛構小說。

用了兩星期才能看完。譯得不好、對劇情有影響的角色數量太多、故事鋪排有點亂、有些地方不太對勁 ⋯⋯ 近來看得最吃力的書。但因為關於香港回歸,故事在某程度上都算有趣的(為何英國放棄香港),而且是在97前出版的書(而我用97後的人的視覺來看),硬着頭皮都把它看完。

這本書不有名。我在圖書館網站搜尋,藏書都是只得一本。收到書時翻到最後一頁去看還書日期紀錄,上面都只印住「20 OCT(10月) 2018」-- 我要還書的日期。但想想,在圖書館用自助借書機借書的話,就不會在最後一頁印上日期,所以我應該不會是第一個借這本書的人 ⋯⋯ 不過在我看書時,突有幾張出版商的賣書廣告從書的某頁跌了出來 ⋯⋯

而我知道這本書的原因挺荒謬的。有天上facebook看到忘記了是誰的人從一個名稱大概是「我從看av中學會的事」的專頁轉發的post。內容是av演員認真地演活自己的角色時,書架上(故事應該在圖書館發生?)擺了幾本書,其中一本便是《龍的契約》。

不過這個專頁我無論怎樣都再也找不到了。

I just read a book called "龍の契り" written by a Japanese author 服部真澄. It was first published in Japan in 1995 and translated into Chinese by 朱佩蘭 in 1996. This fictional story's setting was Hong Kong returning from UK to China in 1997.

I am too lazy to translate what I have written in Chinese. So, in conclusion, it is an interesting book but I don't really like it. I borrowed this book from Hong Kong library. It is the only one stock and I am probably the first one to read this book. I knew this book with a ridiculous reason.

Bye Waffle

The day before Rapaël leaving, Hong Kong, August 2018

四年前第一次相遇,四年前亦是上一次相遇的舊友。當年我們都是來自不同地方,在異鄉認識大家,四年後終於在我的地方再見。他臨走前一日正好是盂蘭節。
An old friend who I first and last met 4 years ago. When we knew each other, we were foreigners. 4 years later, we met again at my hometown. The day before he left was the Chinese Ghost Festival.
終於順利去了香港公園。/ Finally went to Hong Kong Park.可愛的龜們。/ Adorable turtles.廢青扇。/ In Hong Kong, we call this kind of electric fan as "useless/trashy/rubbish youngster fan". 燒街衣。/ Burning joss paper for the ghost on the street. 此行最後一晚的晚餐吃得很滿足。/ This journey's last dinner was very gratifying.

Auf wiedersehen.

(Olympus OM-1, Fujifilm C200)